Making a Home

I'm pretty something can be said for a home completely reflecting who you are. Moving has surely taught me more about the things I appreciate and adore. 

Some people enjoy fancy things and while those things are nice, I know that I truly appreciate the simple things. The bare, the minimal and the old. I love modern and contemporary things, but boy I sure appreciate old things too. There's so much quality and beauty to hold onto from the past and living in an old house, I can hold onto a little of that. From the old door knobs and doors to the stunning wood floors, making this old home ours has been so incredibly joyful for me. 

Making a home doesn't come easy and definitely doesn't come overnight. In some ways it still doesn't feel like "ours" yet and yes, there's still some more organizing and unpacking to do. There's dreams of fences, shutters and so on. Maybe even gardens and chickens if I am lucky. 

Homemaking is something I enjoy down to the bones. I love it so much, even though I don't stop all day. It is my sincere hope that one day when our kids are all in school, I will still be able to work from home because I dream of staying home to keep things tidy, running smooth and to have dinner on the table. And let's face it while I will miss my children and these days of babies at my feet, I'm sure I will get so much more done when they are older and in school. 

One of my goals with this house is to fill it with the things that I love and to keep it simple. Simplicity and minimalism are two terms and ideas that I love. It doesn't mean that you don't have to have a lot of things, but that the things you have bring you joy and purpose. Clutter and too much brings me all sorts of crazy, anxious emotions. This is a hard battle when you have three, young children who all have their own toys and so forth. Keeping babies means your home can't always be tidy, and is this is something I have to constantly remind myself. But I do find that the less we have, the less there is to have to keep tidy. I am always trying to find new things to get rid of and go without and I still have mental lists of the things I need to go through and purge some more (translation: toys.). 

There's something about being intentional with your home, that makes your days more intentional too. Make your home who you are. Make it who you want to be...not what everyone expects or thinks it should be. Don't feel the need to keep up with others, because your home is where your heart is. Make it purposeful. Make it joyful and make it your own version of beautiful. 

“It's sad if people think that's (homemaking) a dull existance, [but] you can't just buy an apartment and furnish it and walk away. It's the flowers you choose, the music you play, the smile you have waiting. I want it to be gay and cheerful, a haven in this troubled world. I don't want my husband and children to come home and find a rattled woman. Our era is already rattled enough, isn't it?” 
― Audrey Hepburn

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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos. 

Less Fussing, More Mothering

Less Fussing in Motherhood

"I hate that you're always fussing her." 

Those words stung me. Like a dagger in the back type of sting. Like a, "I want to crawl into a hole and never come out because I suck so much" type of sting. 

You see we just recently moved, like yesterday. My husband took three days off of work and of course in the chaos, my already rambunctious two year old was making things even harder and crazier for me. You can't blame her really; the attention hasn't been the best obviously because of all the unpacking and organizing going on and of course, a new home is a lot for a two year old to process. My husband didn't say that to me because he didn't agree with it, he was just making a general statement. 

And I totally get it. Because I hate always fussing too. 

But when someone else tells it to you, there's no doubt that you just want to sit and cry. You just want to sit and wonder why can't you get your life together for five minutes and be the cookie cutter mother that you want to be. 

I knew motherhood would be hard and I knew there would be bad days and I wasn't naive to believe that I would never yell at my children. But there are days where you just take a glimpse at yourself and try to see yourself from the outside, like a stranger looking in through the windows, and you realize that you'd be so humiliated and upset at what they saw. 

You can read post after post about how to not yell at your children and you can pin gentle parenting techniques all day long and in my case, order fancy no drama discipline books that you never have the time to read. Why? Because you're too exhausted after the kids go to bed to sit down and read a book about how to handle the chaos when you really just want to  Netflix + wine away the chaos (truth be told, I want to finish my damn book). 

I don't want to be the mom who yells too much. I don't want to be the mom who goes to bed defeated, vulnerable and disappointed. That's not who I want to be and it's a far cry away from that cookie cutter mom that we all strive to be in some way or another. At the end of the day, we all want what is best for our child.  

Toddlers and Motherhood

The reality of it is that we can't be perfect. We can't be that perfect mother who is always just so calm and relaxed - because that is completely the wrong depiction of motherhood. We can't always have the perfect amount of patience and we can't always have our life together for each second of the day. 

But I don't want to be "the hot mess mother" either. I want to be intentional, creative, adventurous, calm, patient, fun and just the right amount of authority that they need. I want to be lost in the moments making memories and taking each day slowly. I want to not be afraid to let my kitchen get messy while they help me cook and I want to be fine with the fact that they are making a mess somewhere. 

Perhaps our modern life of TOO MUCH stuff, too many responsibilities, too many errands, too many activities and invites leads us to too much to process. We get overworked, overwhelmed and we lose our patience. What if your child really didn't need to be fussed but because you were so tired, you snapped for no reason? Guilty. 

Maybe you're like me and you're looking for a fresh start. Maybe you're wanting a clean slate and maybe you'll finally finish that parenting book you ordered so you can learn how to possibly be better. Or maybe, you're fine. Maybe, actually probably so, you're doing alright and you're just being too hard on yourself. Perhaps the person looking at you from the outside thinks you're doing an amazing job. 

So here's to being intentional. Here's to being patient. Here's to less fussing and less timeouts and more cuddles and messes. Because as cliche as it is, the days are long...but the years are short. 

Intentional Mothering
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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos. 

My "Why" for Toxin Free Living

Non Toxic Living

Everyone has a "WHY" in life. 

A why for the reason they do certain things, like certain things or dislike other things. A why for something they are passionate about or something they despise. We all have our "why" that helps to define who we are.  

One of the things that attracts people and readers to my communities and blog is my passion for toxin free, natural living. It is something that I still get numerous emails and messages about because people are curious how to begin and why to consider it. People are finally ready to jump.

Today, I want to share my "why" with you. 

Like many people nowadays, I am surrounded by the word cancer. Whether family members have it, family members have recovered or passed from it, or whether I just know of one more person in our community fighting it - it is all over. My father is a cancer survivor and while his is considered to be more of a genetic situation, that fear still lingers in me. In my family many men have battled different forms of cancers, and like everyone else - the word cancer scares the crap out of me. 

Only 5-10% of cancers are considered genetic while the remaining amount are due to environmental factors such as toxins we breathe, use on our skins, eat, etc... or the lifestyle choices we make such as drinking and smoking. Many, many cancers are considered to have a cause that is due to things we would have never dreamed. Our shampoos. The baby powder we slathered on all the time. The candles we burned religiously. And so on and on. 

My why is pretty simple really. I want to be healthy for my children and be here for a long time to see them grow. I want my children to be healthy so I can watch them kick soccer balls, dance in recitals and walk across to get their diploma. And I want my children to be healthy! The amount of children that are battling cancer is at an alarmingly high rate, something that we can all say hurts our heart to see and hear. I know we can't control everything around us, but I feel better knowing I am being as proactive as I can. 

My why is because my body is a vessel for my children. I grow babies and nourish babies with my body and I'll continue to do the best I can to keep it healthy. It's always a work in progress and it's never a perfect vessel, because like many, I sure love the taste of chocolate and cookies. 

My why is because God put substances on this earth that we needed -- plants, oils, whole foods, etc... God put them here because they would be able to support us to keep us healthy and whole. But shoutout to the awesome intelligent people he has also put out there who have developed medical advances to help us when nature just wasn't enough. I recognize that too. 

My why is because I'm not afraid to read and learn more about what we use, what we breathe and what we consume. I'm not afraid of the facts that I will learn because I know that they will help me become healthier. I KNOW that kicking chemicals is an easy process for some and for others it is just overwhelming, but my why allows me to help others. 

My why is because I know that I AM the only voice for my family and I. We like to think that our government and FDA and whoever is protecting us, but they only do so much. So much has to change in the laws and systems that regulate our products. How come in Europe over 1,100 cosmetic ingredients are banned but only around 9 of those are banned here? How come thousands and thousands of industrial and cleaning chemicals have not been tested and regulated? How come every new mom thinks that Johnson and Johnson's is a must have, when really it is a toxin filled bottle? You have to be your own advocate. 

My why is because I truly feel that our increase in cancer, infertility, hormonal imbalances, fatigue, depression, eczema, autism and more is likely due to our increase in chemicals and toxins. From processed, convenient foods to lotions and candles, I know that all of the research is there to show that these items are bogging us down and making us unhealthy. The average woman applies around 300 chemicals a day to her skin. So when you think that it isn't "much" in your products, think about ALLLL of the products within your home being used every.single.day. 

So my why is simple really. I believe in being the best I can for my children. I believe in being a work in progress and using this vessel that God gave me to the best of my abilities. I believe in nurturing it and taking care of it and again, it is always a WORK IN PROGRESS. 

Switching to a non toxic lifestyle doesn't necessarily have to mean that you have to just throw it all away overnight. It also doesn't mean that you can't still enjoy some birthday cake or go get ice cream with your children. And by gosh, if you really love your mascara, you don't have to ditch it. But being conscious about making small changes will eventually lead to bigger changes. 

You are always a work in progress. You are always able to change your lifestyle, your habits and your vices. We are not perfect. But how do you want to use your vessel? How do you want to live your life? And what is your "why?" 

If you are ready to create a new why, I am here to help guide you, support you and cheer you on. Take your why and run with it. You won't regret it, because who ever regretted being healthy?