Why Motherhood Made me a Little Frumpy

Stay at Home Mother

Okay, so here's my letter to the world. Here's my letter to all of the mamas out there who can relate and even to the ones that can't relate. Here's my letter to the future mamas, who while they are so stylish and cute, I thought I owed it to them to share why they may be a little "frumpy" later on. Here's my letter to my husband to say, "Hey, sorry I may be little frumpy." Here it is people and gosh, I hope this letter is shared because please God, tell me I am not the only frumpy one out here. 

What is "frumpy" anyway? I'm pretty sure I didn't make this one up. Oh wait...googling...and bada bing, bada boom. Turns out it is a word and I was using it spot on. #winning

"Frumpy by definition means a woman (or her clothes) dowdy or old fashioned." 

So yea, I'm not walking around in like, little house on the prairie dresses or moo moos even, but dowdy - yes - and I stick to basic clothes these days that are nothing super "fashionable" to brag about so yep. I think frumpy may fit. 

But why? 

I mean, I LOVE clothes actually. Give me all the boho, hippie vibes, casual tees and booties and I'm your girl. But let's get real here - I don't wear those things often. Even to the grocery store, it just doesn't happen. I'm not that girl. I'm not always that mom. Despite dreaming in my early twenties of looking like a dime (pahaha) with little kids, that crap just isn't reality people. I dress for comfort. 

I can't prance around in wedges all day, jeans make me claustrophobic and cute tops get either stretched out from nursing sessions or stained with baby food. My hair doesn't get washed nearly enough and makeup is like for special occasions - and I mean like really - special occasions, folks. Trips to the doctor's office and grocery store just are not special. Jesus is lucky I consider church special - the Lord doesn't need me all up in his house looking frumpy (just kidding people). 

But here's the deal. I'm tired folks. I get like two minutes and 33 seconds of sleep a night. My energy goes into making sure my children look good; that our home is clean and tidy, and that a wholesome meal is cooked (most nights). My clothes are on budget because there's other priorities that Dave Ramsey says I should roll with and you just don't argue with the Dave. 

Motherhood

Truth of the matter is that I am okay with this though. I don't think being a mother means that you have to be frumpy all or any of the time by any means; nor do I think that stay at home mamas are automatically frumpy either (but pjs all day people). But as a mother of three little ones who can barely wipe their own butts (wait, actually none of them can), I'm totally cool with living through some frumpy years right now. 

It's not about not wanting to try. It's not about being lazy and it's not about not wanting to look good. And it certainly isn't about getting lost in the role of motherhood that you forget who you are. However, sometimes motherhood can change and define you in new ways that make some things less of a priority. Or well, motherhood can just zap all the energy right out that truly make some things less of a priority. 

The main reason I don't get much sleep these days. 

The main reason I don't get much sleep these days. 

It can be a little intimidating at times and even maybe those awkward moments of being surrounded by younger cousins or friends who look like they stepped out of a local boutique, but I am the one who gets to come home and tend to all of these beautiful, little humans. I am my own kind beautiful that I am learning to accept these days. 

I am wearing the marks of motherhood. And I am wearing them proudly. And just like I know that one day I will sleep again, I know that one day I may be that girl who is confident and far from frumpy. But for now, I'll settle for full blown love and frumpy.  

So that's my declaration to the world y'all. Just one tired, but hard loving mommy wearing the heck out of some yoga pants. AND pajamas. 

 

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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos. 

New Habits for the New Year

New Year. New You. Right? 

 I like to think that with the new year, you don't have to be full of resolutions and changes. Like, not having any is totally okay, right?! But I won't lie, I love the fresh start and I think that having some changes, goals or even just new approaches to things can really make for a great year. 

If you're not into weight loss resolutions and if you're not one of the thousands of people joining a gym this month, but you're still looking for that "something," below are some great ideas to help tackle a new year. It's a fresh start to make fresh changes, to experience self growth and to deepen your relationships with yourself, your loved ones and the Lord. 

So what are some great habits to develop? I love a good routine and just like many, I fall of out of them when I experience life changes or even just exhaustion from kids who don't sleep. Below are some of my favorite routines and habits that can easily make your year better!

  • Declutter. Decluttering is one of the most freeing acts to me. Declutter your cabinets, closets and knick knacks around the home. Eliminate the piles of junk because most people get anxiety from looking at these piles of clutter, so eliminate them for a better start. 
  • Organize. It goes hand and hand with decluttering. Organizing makes you feel ready for the new year. Find something like the laundry room, cabinets or under the sink supplies to organize; toss the old things that you don't need or that is expired. 
  • Read. Choose a list of books to read this year, but don't pressure yourself with too many. A big list will never get done because it will look impossible. Settle for 3-5 if you're a busy mom like me who knows that reading during motherhood is just dang hard. 
  • Create a wellness routine. Create an area for you that contains all of your supplements and vitamins. Don't take any of these things? Now is the best time to start! The new year is a great time to focus in on your health, so take charge and begin a routine that can make you feel more energetic, think more clearly and hopefully keep the germs away. Don't settle for those vitamins in the stores, go for natural, plant based supplements. Young Living and Nordic Naturals are both great places to begin. 
  • Meal Plan. Some people plan for the month, I like the idea of weekly. Try what works for you and see if it makes grocery shopping and cooking easier and less stressful. Utilize the fresh ingredients you have by cooking similar meals that contain them so that way nothing goes bad. For instance, if you're purchasing a head of lettuce and some tomatoes for salads, then plan to cook tacos too that week to utilize those ingredients as well. 
  • Simplify. Oh I can elaborate on this one, but basically look at your life and see how you can simplify it. Declutter your home. Eliminate things from your calendar that you don't "need" or truly want to do. Don't feel pressured to be at everything. Learn to say NO.
  • Toss the toxins. A New Year is a great time to eliminate toxins and unhealthy products from your life. Make a slow transition into using more plant based, toxin free personal care products and cleaning products. You can learn more about that here and join my private community for support and access to some of the best products and the ones that we use in our home!
  • Start a daily devotional. Find a good one and stick to it. Bible journaling is also another wonderful habit to begin!
  • Begin each day with oils. I know some of you may be skeptical, but it's my mission to take you from skeptic to believer. Oils can change your life! They can support your sleep, moods, hormones and more that can ease the stress and anxiety you may wake up to each day. I promise you as your friend, that if you're suffering from any of those issues, then you really need drop me a line. Let me hook a sista up!
  • Focus on the positive. I've read so often that people who complain less are generally happier. I won't lie, I can be a complainer. So how about joining me in hopes that we can just be happier and not complain about everything that just doesn't go our way. 
  • Create a space just for you. Maybe it's at your home desk, in your home office or perhaps it's a sitting area somewhere in your home filled with your books and things you admire. Make this a retreat for you to turn to for a few minutes of "me" time to gather your thoughts. Or perhaps you're a work at home mother like me - that space can be needed. Since not everyone may have that space indoors, think of an area outdoors that you can turn into a small retreat for you. 
  • LIVE THE LITTLE THINGS. Enjoy more of the simple moments. Make time for the things that bring you joy. Hot coco with the kids, smores by the fire, front porch rocking and so much more. Slow down and just live and enjoy the moments. 

I hope you find yourself having the best year yet. A year full of moments that leave lasting imprints and memories to last a lifetime. Take the year slowly, reach for whatever goals you have and just stop and live. Create habits that will help you do all of these things. Set realistic goals and find your grace when you fall. 

Happy New Year! 

P.S. Embrace the smores crumbs all over the floors. (see above photo ;))  #momlife

Slow and Steady for 2018

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A New Year is approaching and it is that time to start thinking of all the goals, the words to live by and the number on the scale you wish to see. Sometimes I feel like the New Year puts a ton of pressure on us, but other times I am somewhat thankful for the fresh start to do better, be better or do more. 

While I have many goals and plans, one of the things that sits heavy on my heart is simply trying to be intentional with my time, my children, my home and my life. Motherhood can make us weary, exhausted and frayed around the edges. This isn't to overshadow the joys and happiness of motherhood because that trumps all, but many of us can say that we dream of escaping to our bed simply to rest up to do it all again the next day. 

Motherhood, homemaking, working - all of those things (especially when combined) can wear us down. Days filled with too many obligations, clutter in corners, late for school drop offs. Those things are bound to happen here and there no doubt, but wouldn't life be more grand without that feeling of rush? Wouldn't it feel better if we didn't always feel like we were sinking with no lifesaver out to grab hold to? I know that feeling all too well, that's why I can say it. 

themushymommy

I often find myself rushed and impatient. Shoes not getting put on little feet because the little ones are doing cartwheels instead. Older ones not buckling up because playing with the lights in the car are far more fascinating and all of these moments often result in my impatience showing it's dark face, simply because I am in a hurry. Perhaps I am not really running late, but it's that constant feeling of needing to be somewhere or that obligation that lies ahead that keeps me on my toes. 

intentional living

It's that constant feeling of being needed by everyone and every moment that can overwhelm me. It's the cries from the baby while I try and start dinner and it's the "mama can you please come cuddle" while I try and scrub the toilets. It's all of these moments lost in my day that make me feel like I don't know which way to turn sometimes. It's moments I am so incredibly grateful for but it's also the moments where I realize that there just isn't enough of me. 

young living

It's these moments that make me realize that slow and steady is the way for 2018. It's these moments that make me realize that perhaps if I had just done things differently throughout my day I wouldn't feel so rushed. Perhaps I can prep for dinner earlier or perhaps I can wake before the kids to get some "me" time in. Perhaps logging off of social media or turning off the TVs and opening the windows up can make me feel more alive. 

Slow and steady is what my heart yearns for. This old house we live in now has me craving simplicity at every corner. It has me craving the old days of simple joys and treasures. It has me craving to be that mother and homemaker that I have dreamed up in my head and that despite the crazy days that I know will never go away completely, that perhaps somehow, some way, I can create my own slow and steady. I can be more intentional. 

intentional living

Whatever it may be for you, whether it's a goal, a word to live by or just an action that you want to take in 2018, I hope you get there. I hope you achieve what it is that your heart so desires. If you're like me and looking for life to stop passing you by on the hot mess express, then join me as we take 2018 slow and steady. 

BE INTENTIONAL. Mother intentionally. Tend to your home intentionally. Prepare food intentionally. Make what matters count and cut back on the obligations, the "stuff" and the rush. Feed your soul what it craves. 

Happy New Year's my dear friends!