Life With Three (So Far)

I've already started receiving questions from readers and followers about the transition to life with three children and while it's only been a month really, I decided to write a small post on it as well as sharing glimpses of our family. 

So life with three children...all under the age of four...ahhhh. 

Let's see, where do I start...

I will start with a very common thing that I have heard from other mothers. Two was a much harder transition than three. Period. 

I know it seems bizarre that two would be harder than three, but it was. I remember the weekend we returned home from the hospital with my second, I sat on the verge of tears what felt like for forever. Tears because I felt anxiety about my husband going back to work on Monday, tears because I just knew I couldn't do this and tears because of feelings I felt in regards to expanding my heart (which you can read more of here). 

Two was hard for awhile. I called my mom crying many days and she'd come over and help us. I felt like there wasn't enough of me to go around and I felt like I'd NEVER find a routine and get the hang of it.

TheMushyMommy

Well I am here to tell you that with three, it's easier. In fact had it not been for one bad week of toddler bed transitions for my middle child, I may have never cried this whole postpartum period. In fact, there wouldn't have really been "hard" days had it not been for her fighting me daily at nap time (FYI do NOT do any major transitions after a baby arrives). 

While yes I knew life was about to get crazy and chaotic, I never had that overwhelming feeling that I "couldn't do it." I knew I could. I knew I would eventually find a routine and get things together. I knew I would eventually sleep again. And while we aren't really there yet, I still know we will be one day. I know now that the hard days come few and far eventually and then you're left with nothing but amazing, joyful days. Then the hard days are just a distant memory and you go around telling everyone to have all the babies because it's a "piece of cake." Okay, maybe I exaggerated there. 

I'll also add that what it truly takes is support. Having a supportive partner who is hands on and willing to take your older kids out and about or someone who does their baths and dinners, is such a help. My husband has been amazing, along with my parents truly stepping in when needed. Lastly, you need oils and prayers.

Pray to be a good mother with patience, understanding, laughter and rest. Pray to take in the moments and not the hardships.

And oils... I just can't say enough about how much my essential oils have helped me through this postpartum period. They have kept many mothers from turning to medication, or weaning off of it, and while I've never needed medication - it sure helps to keep me in check! To read more on that from me, check this post out

I try my best each day to wake up positive and ready to go. I try my hardest to smother ALL of my babies with kisses and cuddles. I try to give as much one on one attention to them all (especially the older two now because obviously the baby gets a lot of me) - you can only do so much. One person can only do so much and you just have to know that you're doing your best, mamas. 

Newborn Photos

So if you're one of those people sitting on the brink of making a decision to have a third baby, then I'm hear to tell you to GO FOR IT. Why not, right? Life is already crazy with two, three is just adding a little extra crazy but a whole lot of LOVE. Yes there will be moments where every child is crying for you or where that sweet, little baby needs to be fed but you are tied up with a toddler sitting on the potty. And yes, your little ones may act differently and slightly disobediently just for extra attention because their whole life just changed in the blink of an eye - but it gets better. Just remember that you will get there. One day these moments will be just a faint memory. It won't be easy and I can't promise you won't cry, but you will get there. 

It's just a season of crazy and a forever of amazing. That's all I have for you six weeks into this, perhaps in a few more weeks we can chat again about life as a family of five. ;) 

What are you tips for adjusting to a new baby?

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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos. 

Essential Oils for Postpartum Care

For more essential oil info, email me at themushymommy@gmail.com. To join my team, join here! 

For more essential oil info, email me at themushymommy@gmail.com. To join my team, join here! 

The postpartum period -- possibly one of the most sacred, hardest yet beautiful time periods that you can never get back. If it's your first baby you may be on a high and enjoying every moment as you figure out this motherhood thing, or perhaps you're stuck with anxiety about what to do. If you're not a rookie at this, then maybe you're just navigating along trying to adjust to another child, trying to form new routines and create a new normal for you and your family. 

Coming home with my third baby was totally and I mean TOTALLY met with less fear, anxiety and sadness than my coming home with my second. Not that I was sad or suffering from anything major with my second, but I definitely had anxiety for a bit about how I would manage to do this. It was overwhelming to think of caring for more than one child and that was sad. Fear is real when you come home with your second -- sure you know how to take care of a baby now, but can you manage to care for and equally dispense your love and care among TWO? (Guess what, you totally can)

That's what is great about a third -- you already know you CAN do these things! I already knew I can successfully take care of more than one baby. I already knew I would eventually develop new routines and find a new normal. It just takes time and patience. It takes some prayers and some sleep deprived nights.

 And oils. It takes OILS. 

While I was already a Young Living member when my second was born, I didn't go into it prepared to use my oils. I wasn't a super proactive oily user at the time. This go around I knew I wanted to be proactive and have oils on hand to help guide me postpartum and it has truly been such a great decision! 

Have the oils helped? Absolutely! These oils have helped contribute to an easier transition, a less emotional adjustment and a better sense of calm and confidence in tackling my days. I have never been one to need or turn to medication postpartum (or at all really), but if you are one who has needed medicine in the past during postpartum (or even after),  I highly recommend trying oils to see if they can help you! 

So what have I loved and what do I recommend? 

First off -- ROLL ONS. They get all the praise hands! 

Tranquil. I usually apply this mid morning to help keep me calm and laid back. I apply it at night sometimes if I feel wired as well. I love this oil! I have gotten many compliments on the scent of this oil since I wear it so much, it's basically my perfume now. It uses two of my favorite oils -- Cedarwood and Lavender and then adds in Roman Chamomile. It's your oil for ZEN. I swear it helps me keep my cool and high a higher level of patience. 

Stress away. Need I say more. When the kids are crazy, when the day is hectic and when life seems overwhelming I roll on Stress Away. This one is probably my favorite scent and I've long used this as a roll on. I truly feel like it helps me stay more patient and more understanding through the crazy. Roll it on and just walk away for a few seconds from the crazy! It won't fix tantrums, it won't cure the crazy and it won't keep you from wanting to hide in the closet every now and then, but it can help alleviate all of the insane stress and overwhelming feelings you experience (especially with a newborn and toddlers). 

*Deep Relief roll on can be great for aches and pains postpartum. 

Joy. Self explanatory really. Just apply a few drops over your heart, diffuse it or wear it as a fragrance on your neck or in a diffuser necklace. It's basically happy in a bottle. 

Progessance Plus. This is a nifty little bottle full of oils like Sacred Frankincense, Rosewood and Peppermint and many others to help with hormones and skin. It's ideal for women over 30 or even women in my case who are postpartum and have hormones settling back down. Add it to your moisturizer for your skin or apply on your neck and forearms for hormone support. It can help with things like sleep troubles, PMS, acne, depression, hot flashes, weight control (hook me up) hair loss and much more. *Please see a doctor if you think you are depressed. 

Gentle Baby. An excellent oil to promote a sense of calming for mothers and babies. It's also wonderful for fading stretch marks and can be used in sleepy time routines. This is excellent to diffuse in the home near bed time or if there are older siblings who need a little calm in their day. This oil smells wonderful and is a mommy must have!! Apply it to baby's sheets for better sleep or place on you and allow baby to breathe the aromas in while feeding! *For essential oil usage with babies or pregnancy, check out the book Gentle Babies. 

I'm sure there are many other popular oils that mamas have used and enjoyed postpartum. This is just a great start and foundation of oils that can help you adjust, help with your hormones and help keep you calm in the midst of the crazy. This is just my oily must haves right now and I plan to use these oils for quite some time. I totally believe in the fourth trimester, and these oils will be my buddies during it. 

Intersted in these oils and Young Living? Visit our Essential Oils section or email me at themushymommy@gmail.com. Want to join Young Living? Join MY team here!  

What helped you postpartum? How long did it take for you to adjust? 


All recommendations, recipes, uses and so forth for essential oils on this blog are only for Young Living essential oils. If using another brand of oil, please read the label or contact that company for usage recommendations. 
Statements made on this website about Young Living Essential Oils have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products and information are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Anyone suffering from disease or injury should consult with a physician. If you are currently on medication, please DO NOT STOP.  

 

To the Mom Who Thinks That She Let Herself Go

...you didn’t really let yourself go. You let yourself become a mother.
— Sasha, The Mushy Mommy
To The Mom Who Let Herself Go

I passed the mirror the other day as I was running around chasing my kids and sighed. Granted I just had a baby a month ago, but I can tell this time will be different. This time I will have to fight harder for the weight to come off and the cellulite legs to disappear. I realized as I was running around that it was going to be so hard this time to do that. Just as it was so hard most days to even find time to fix my hair or wash my face or cook the fanciest dinner for my deserving husband.

And that's when I thought of you...

I thought about the mama running around wishing she had just a few more minutes to spare to work out some because it has been a year and there's still baby weight. Or the mama who wishes (like me) that she could have gym time, but let's face it, that isn't always going to work with three kids under four. I thought about the mama who went to bed and said that maybe tomorrow she'd try and wash her hair and put some makeup on, but when the morning came and the kids needed her, that never happened. Then like me, perhaps you hurried and tried to make yourself presentable before your husband got home just simply because you still want to be more than just a housewife. You're a woman too. 

I thought about the mama who scrolled instagram and saw all of the other mamas and bloggers who look so put together and stylish and how you cringed with envy because you nor your house look anything like them. I thought about the working mama who rushes home to be with her kids and who puts her needs last just because she wants to squeeze in every ounce of time with her children before bedtime rolls around. And of course, I thought of the stay at home mama who runs around without any stopping ALL.DAY.LONG. and by the time you do stop, there's nothing left to give. 

I thought about all of this as I passed that mirror and saw my larger figure with unkempt hair and squishy legs as I was chasing kids and still working damn near an hour just to get dinner in the crock pot (when it should have never taken that long). Laundry piled up, food everywhere as I desperately tried to fix something, toys all over yet again and babies crying at my feet. Emails needing to be returned, orders needing to be shipped and blog posts waiting to be written. I realized within these moments that I never stop. 

Motherhood never stops.

I know now how it's so easy to get lost in the role as mom and wife. It's so easy to give and give and give until there's not much left to give. I don't necessarily believe in excuses when it comes to remaining healthy, but I see just how easy it is now to keep that baby weight on or to stay stocked up on yoga pants. It's easy to assume from the outside that someone just has to have some free time to work out and lose weight or fix themselves up. But take a step in my shoes or many other mothers' shoes and you'll realize those minutes come far and few. And when those minutes come -- you spend them crashing, or catching up on sleep, downing a bottle (okay glass) of wine, or in my case trying to squeeze in some one on one time with your newborn. 

So to all of the mamas who look into the mirror and see a reflection of a person they don't quite recognize or a reflection that makes them sigh, I'm right there with you. You're probably like me and thought years ago that you'd never be her; you thought you'd be the stylish mama that somehow always juggled three kids in cute wedges without any spit up on your clothes (is that a real thing?). You may feel disappointed in yourself for taking eating for two a little too literal during pregnancy and you may hope that one day you'll look like the version of you that you remember. You see a reflection of a mother who may be lost in her role at times, but underneath is still a woman; a beautiful woman that you hope isn't overlooked just because she wears the role of motherhood on her sleeve. 

The beauty of your reflection is that those little people crying at your feet and chunking toys across the house see that reflection as beauty. If you ask your children, I bet they see the most beautiful woman around. They don't notice the stretch marks, the cellulite or the split ends. They see strength when they're weak, brave when they're scared, comfort to make the bobos better, cuddles for good night and light in the darkness. They see joy, laughter and their number one pal. They see you for what you are, a mother. 

Just like any season, this too shall pass. It's a time of mothering. One day there will be more minutes in the day to do the things for you, and until then if you can't find the minutes, then just know that you didn't really let yourself go.

You let yourself become a mother. 


Thanks for reading and sharing. Drop a comment or leave some love below!

 

 

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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos.