10 {Kinda} Funny Truths to Natural Childbirth
The more people you tell your birth plan to, the more you realize you just really don't want to tell people your birth plan anymore. You can only handle getting looked at like you're nuts so many times.
Every time someone says, "good luck" with their sarcastic-in-your-dreams voice you just want to slap em'. You also keep a mental list of all the people so you can make sure you send them published book copies of your birth story in exact detail and time frames.
Most expecting moms are reading What to Expect When You're Expecting, but you're reading inspiring birth stories written by hippies. Their books tell you to stay clear of alcohol and your books are like "drink all the vodka to relax the body."
The term "Ring of Fire" will forever mean something totally different to you.
You're basically passing a watermelon through a hole that began as the size of a grape and you still don't want pain meds? No nurse, I still don't want them.
Other people's birth photos look quite glamorous compared to the sweaty, exhausted lip-biting photos you have. Your hair is fixed in a concoction that you can't even explain and your wearing either nothing or something that makes no sense.
Never in your life did a hot bath feel so good. Seriously, a hot bath for a laboring lady is like candy to a kid.
But never in your life did you really think you may see something floating around -- hey with the pressure going on down there -- you have no idea what may come out. So you silently manage to say a few prayers that nothing comes out.
Seriously, never in your life did you really think you may cr@p yourself in front of your husband. #reallifeproblemshere
Never in your life have you wanted to look back at all the disbelievers and gloat like no one's business while running through public with an "I delivered naturally" t-shirt on while wearing a tiara and expecting to be the next "Rosie the Riveter." But truth be told, you didn't do anything different than the thousands and thousands of women decades before you. But still, I'm gonna flaunt to all my haters who said I couldn't. ;)
Natural childbirth really isn’t a joking matter, believe me I know. But I can personally tell you that after three beautiful and absolutely amazing experiences, natural childbirth is totally doable. It takes some prep work, it takes reading lots of beautiful birth stories and reading some good books. It takes being mentally prepared and confident in your body’s capabilities. It takes support from a spouse, or a doula or your own mother. It takes confidence and it takes determination like you’ve never experienced before. Because you WILL want to give up, but if you don’t, you will be so incredibly grateful.
If natural childbirth is something that feels right for you, I encourage you to prepare yourself for it. You can do this mama, I am sure of it.